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Field Team member, Zoe Colville (aka The Chief Shepherdess) candidly shares her reflections of the past lambing season, alongside her very own journey into motherhood.
As lambing season draws to a close, my mind is busy with thoughts of years gone by and how different this year looked for us. With our fewest number of ewes carrying lambs due to shrinking the flock and myself taking a major step back, I can't help but feel almost nostalgic of past years.
Over the years I've seen TV programs, read books and watched social media videos of mothers farming with their babies strapped to their chests or their backs, pushing toddlers in wheelbarrows and I just assumed that would be us. We would soldier on as if nothing had changed, with our new little shadow making things a little trickier but not impossible. What I didn't anticipate was just how different things would be now there's three of us (and indie the dog) in the workforce.
Let's begin with what I can't do anymore. I cannot simply launch myself onto a ewe and rugby tackle her to aid her lambing. With Sidney my five month old in a carrier on my front that's just downright dangerous. Which in itself makes me feel pretty inadequate, even though I managed to grow another human, another organ, birthed both, well kinda (with help from a lovely surgeon) and have kept said baby alive, healthy and fed for almost half a year. Yet because I can't run and jump onto a sprinting woolie animal I feel rubbish about myself? Women are far too hard on themselves. Another thing is I cannot concentrate on the task in hand. Usually this time of year the ewes take priority over everything, using the bathroom, eating, sleeping, washing and I don't think I replied to Whatsapps until dusk for a month either. Yet the days I was on the farm since having my daughter my mind was elsewhere, did she need her nappy changing, did I have the wipes with me? What time would she next need a feed and where can I sit to do that which isn't covered in birth juices? It was logistically not great to say the least.
So in summary, the feeling of missing out, of being held back and feeling insecure about my ability as a farmer is so worth it for being able to slow down and embrace this time in our lives. How lucky am I to have a life where my child can run around fields, notice when the trees blossom, name her own pet lamb, camp out at the farm and gets to do it all with her parents who love her unconditionally. I'd say I can cope with just the one year of having to make the sandwiches and stand back and watch.
By Zoe Colville, The Chief Shepherdess
About The Chief Shepherdess
Zoe spent her childhood outdoors with her imaginary animals and tent making. At 18 she moved to London to train as a hairdresser where she spent all her time until she met Chris and slowly migrated back to Kent. Slowly they have built up their flocks and herds until now they have quite a menagerie of animals, grazing pockets of land all over the county (and beyond). One thing is for certain, the passion they have for their livestock is ever present. Even in the wettest winter or the driest summer they strive for nothing but the best.
Read more from The Chief Shepherdess
Zoe Colville on Sheep Shearing
Follow Zoe – Instagram
Buy Zoe’s Book - Amazon UK
Zoe Wears - Derwent
